I’ve struggled with the idea of the holidays for more than a month now. My anticipatory anxiety of trick-or-treating with one child, sitting at a table giving thanks with an empty seat or opening presents on Christmas morning and seeing Scarlett play by herself permeates my daily thoughts and dreams.
For both Halloween and now Thanksgiving, I’ve made it through the day not just surprised that I survived, but thankful that it wasn’t as terrible as it was in my mind.
I’m reminded of how lucky I am to have the love and support of so many friends, and this family that has been there, literally by our side, through every single up and down.
I went to sleep with my stomach in knots last night, and for some reason I woke up with a sense of peace and warmth today. I want to believe that Blake is with us every day, but today his presence was present.
When life is particularly hard, it can be difficult to focus on gratitude. However today, and every day I’m grateful for this bunch.
#forevergrateful #ForBlake #lovemyfamily