This Chapter Is Going To Take More Than A Village
Each day we put on the armor of a warrior, but I’d be lying if I said we aren’t scared. We have moments, sometimes days feeling very broken. If I am totally honest, right now it feels like we’re lost in the whitewash of a tidal wave. We don’t know which way is up and there is seemingly no good way out. The uncertainty of Blake’s future creates unfathomable emotional waves, and the upheaval of our lives makes it all nearly unbearable at times. Our hope is that our path to the surface and blue skies becomes clear.
This past week we packed our suitcases for the scariest adventure one can imagine, and we have no idea what to expect. With zero notice and no plan, we were moved 1,500 miles away from our home, our family, our friends, our jobs, our entire support system. We are buried in unknowns. How long will we be here? Where will we stay? What about work? Do we keep our place? Should we be driving a vehicle out? What about our daughter?! We have countless questions and no answers. There is nothing concrete, just moving obstacles that make this experience even more overwhelming.
We have concerns about leaving a wonderful medical team that we know goes above and beyond for Blake. We are now an unknown family in an intimidating hospital the size of a small city. We have to not only get our bearings, but learn who’s who, how things operate here, and educate ourselves as best we can at an accelerated pace as life altering decisions need to be made at lightening speed.
There are four towers at this hospital, and navigating them for food options or necessities is like walking between casinos in Las Vegas. Have I mentioned that I am still just 4 weeks out from my hip reconstruction surgery? I am not able to fully walk yet, have mobility restrictions and can’t yet lift or carry my child. I missed my post-surgery appointment, sent xrays from an urgent care and obviously have not been able to prioritize physical therapy. For my baby though, I would climb Mt Everest. It just doesn’t make things any easier.
Rob has now turned down real estate opportunities and job offers, legit income for our family, which clearly would be helpful as bills roll in – but we can’t even start thinking about healthcare costs. It is completely Monopoly money at this point. When it was determined that we would be medically flown we thought, “Sure, bring on the jet! What’s another round of medical bills in the millions?”
Aside from each of these individually stressful pieces mounting, the one thing that tears apart our hearts each day is not having our family together. In order to give the new medical team and evaluators our undivided attention, Scarlett is being loved and cared for by family in California. We’ve never been away from her for even 24 hours, and to be away for an undetermined amount of time is crushing.
Last week, we had some of the most difficult moments of our lives as we said goodbye to her. And more so hugging our two babies together one last time…praying there will be many more chances to squeeze them both again in the future. Their bond is just so beautiful, it’s hard to separate them, and our family – especially for Christmas.
Among the tornado of emotions, sometimes we just feel numb, other times we laugh in disbelief. This is so mind-blowing, how can this possibly be life? It’s easy to spiral, but we can’t. We won’t. We need to remain strong, fearless, positive and determined. We need you, friends. More than ever, please stand united with us. This chapter is going to take more than a village. Please join our army of love and support #forblake.
#teamblake #forevergrateful #webelieveinmiracles
